Strategic Discipline Blog

My journey through Acute Myeloid Leukemia continues with another segment from Chapter VII from CANCER CURED – Miracle Moment – The Heart & the Mind

(Previous segments of CANCER CURED are available here:  CANCER CURED BOOK -to read from the beginning, you’ll need to scroll through to the bottom to find CANCER CURED – What do You Feed?, which is the first in the series.)

"No king is saved by the size of his army, no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save" (Psalm 33:16-17).

Here’s where I was.

Just over four months after discovering I had Acute Myeloid Leukemia, my doctor at St Luke’s Infusion Center tells me I should give up, not fight the challenges of chemotherapy, the isolation of the hospital, and simply invest the time I have remaining with my family and those I love. She is telling me what she would do. She is letting me know my case is hopeless.

What would you do?Would you choose to follow your local doctors’ advice?

How would you feel? What would your thoughts be? Would you be willing to admit defeat and give up?

There wasn’t a defeated, listless, or pragmatic thought, only rage, anger, and resentment. I wasn’t sure how Dr. Begum had arrived at her conclusion; I was just sure she was wrong.

After my temporary indignation at Dr. Begum, my thoughts had quickly moved toward solving the riddle of why I wasn’t achieving the outcome I’d desired through my meditation efforts.

As I shared earlier, most of us are pretty good at knowing what an unanswered prayer looks like. I’ve had my share of unanswered prayers. I’ve struggled to understand why God answers some of my prayers, but most HE does not. At least not in the fashion I desire him to.

I am no expert on answered prayer. Yet when moving through the methods and ideas associated with Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, I began to feel clarity about what may constitute the elements necessary to create miracles and answered prayer.

It may be odd to imagine someone who had just been told they should give up, to spend the remaining time they have left with their family and friends, and to forgo the only possible option remaining to possibly live, a clinical trial, as being optimistic and confident, yet that’s what I was.

By re-examining the steps in the meditation process, then recognizing the power of elevated emotions, I didn’t necessarily feel I had it all figured out. I just knew by how I’d been doing my meditation, the step of combining faith/vision and a sense of confidence with the love I felt for Michelle was missing. The FEELING was absent. I had not focused my attention on the emotional power of my feelings.

Practice doesn’t make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.

What I sensed had occurred up to this point is, I’d perfected the other steps in the meditation process. This allowed me to focus on this one aspect, to give it my attention. I wasn’t sure what this even felt like. I just knew this was what was missing.

For some reason, I never felt like I was going to die. This might be the strength of my naivete. It gets me in trouble by trusting others I shouldn’t, yet it allowed me to give full trust to a feeling I had about my future. I trusted this feeling. If you were looking at me objectively, you’d probably say I was blind to my consequences.

Willful blindness?

Perhaps.

I realized while receiving the infusion in the clinic, I didn’t have to predict my solution. That was out of my hands. It was in my Creators’ hands! That’s the message in Psalm 33:16-17

The magic of planting a seed in your garden, or a tree, or putting the ingredients of a cake together, isn’t in YOU being able to make the seed grow, or the cake ingredients become a cake. It’s the magic of the soil, the wonders of God’s creation.

My job was to focus on the process: Combine Faith/Vision with Elevated Emotion.

Due to my previous “miraculous” experience with Michelle through meditation, my confidence was high!  It would work. Reading Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, listening to the audiobook by Dispensa, and daily meditating, the repetitive nature of the messages continually provided the faith and belief necessary to achieve the result.

I believe you can elevate your faith and confidence in anything by repeating affirmations and practicing.

What I needed to achieve now was an emotional experience.

In my meditation, I needed to feel the experience of being there.

All my energy, all my attention from this point on, focused on this one element. Generate the feeling of being in Hawaii, enjoying the weather, my wife, the confidence of having conquered cancer, and being honored to tell my story to a group who were interested in my retelling it.

Combining my heart with my mind required the emotions of love, the gargantuan love I had for Michelle, the desire to give her something she’d always wanted, blended with the supreme confidence of visualizing it could make it appear.

This was no ordinary visualization. It merged confidence, belief, and absolute emotional envision-ment in a way I would feel present with it. It would have to appear to me it wasn’t a possibility, it was happening.

Virtual Reality? I needed to create it. Most of all, I needed to FEEL IT!

The Power to realize this is something we’ve all experienced in some fashion. It is the most powerful force in the universe.

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If you understand that energy in our bodies is electrical, you may find the miraculous events of my next blog less startling. Next week, an answer will be revealed to me in a dramatic, brief moment.

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NEXT BLOG – CANCER CURED - CHAPTER VII – Crisis – (Sparks FLY)