Strategic Discipline Blog

This week I begin sharing the book I’ve written on my journey through Acute Myeloid Leukemia. This is a portion of the first chapter, with subsequent blogs to share the chapters and full book in 850 to 1500 increments. If you would like to view the chapter outline go to CHANGE – Begins with New Thoughts and scroll to the middle of the blog.

TWO WOLVES STORY

A Cherokee elder is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”— Cherokee Indian legend

The Brutal Facts

“At some point, you determine it’s best not to fight any longer. Let go! You can choose to make the most of the time you have left with those you love, those you care about most. Those you want to spend time with if you could. You determine the struggle isn’t worth missing what you may only have a short amount of time left for.”

Dr. Begum is my doctor of record at the Infusion Center Cedar Rapids, Iowa, a hematologist, and oncologist who works with cancer patients. She is telling me my life is coming to an end in an unambiguous way that makes any feelings I have about this seem irrelevant.

My oncologist, Dr. Carter, a Hematology Specialist at the University of Iowa Hospital, has already informed us that I’ve exhausted the options for normal treatment of acute myeloid leukemia. When I entered the hospital 84% of my bone marrow was cancerous. Five chemotherapies have only reduced my cancer to 42% of my bone marrow. That is not good news. To move to a bone marrow transplant, I need it to be 10% or less. Dr. Carter has allowed me to go home to consider either moving to a clinical trial at the University of Iowa, choosing another hospital, or finding another approach altogether. Michelle, (my wife) and I have been discussing our options. As I will find out later, I have less than a 2% chance of survival.

I didn’t walk into the room prepared for this. I’d expected this visit to the clinic to be routine. I’d gotten in relatively quickly. Diane, my athletic infusion nurse at the clinic, greeted me as she always did, asking how I was doing.

I responded as I always did: “Unbelievable!” I learned this response from a popular sales trainer, Tommy Hopkins’ “How to Master the Art of Selling™.” When you say “Unbelievable” it can be true either way. How someone responds can help you to learn much about their attitude! Diane mentioned Dr. Begum would like to see me as she works on completing my blood samples.

When Diane finishes my tests, Michelle and I immediately take a seat in Dr. Begum’s small office. We sit in two small plastic office chairs, against the wall next to her desk. We’re still working on our decision.

After closing the door to her office, Dr. Begum asks, “How are you doing?”

Dr. Begum listens politely as Michelle, and I recount the visit with Dr. Carter and list the options we are considering for my treatment. Michelle wants me to stay at U of I, while I am still considering Sloan-Kettering, MD Anderson, and the Riordan Clinic in Kansas City, which Verne Harnish, my coaching mentor, has recommended. It offers an alternative treatment using Vitamin C. Michelle explains her preference for UIHC, which is closer to our family and friend’s support group. She thinks it will be less stressful.

Tears and Defiance

I expect Dr. Begum to agree with Michelle’s thinking. When Dr. Begum’s response is to tell us to just give up instead, I’m shocked. As she continues speaking, I notice she is making eye contact only with Michelle and avoiding my eyes. I feel like I am not even in the room. I’m a third party being talked about, not included in the conversation or the decision.

I feel rage, bewilderment, fury, anger.

As my doctor, Hosne Begum speaks, my wife Michelle puts her head in her hands, crying audibly and then sobbing, something I have never seen her do before.

While Michelle sobs, Dr. Begum hands her a tissue from a box she keeps on her desk. I am seething. It requires all my self-control not to storm out of the room in a vote of no-confidence in Dr. Begum’s position. At the same time, it feels like I’m not actually in the room, like I’m a passive observer, I’m looking down, in an out-of-body experience while others talk about me. I feel ignored, pronounced dead, and buried, while I’m still present in the room.

Never, not once, had I ever believed I was going to die. Other than the first time I was told the news, I had never considered death as an option.

Now, even though I’m being told that is my only option, I am not accepting that possibility, either. I am certain I am not out of options. I have supreme faith that somehow, some way, I will survive. No, I am going to thrive. I am going to be better than the previous man I was. I believe my meditation practices will provide an answer. I don’t need to be sure how. I just need to believe it will.

My mind drifts to Jim Collins’ Good to Great, one of my favorite business books. One of the most powerful parts for me is his discussion of the Stockdale Paradox. Years ago, I’d adopted this quote from Vice Admiral James Stockdale, the highest-ranking American Vietnam prisoner of war, held captive for more than seven years, and believed it with all my heart:

“Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, AND at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also, I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

Now that I am confronted with Dr. Begum’s words, this quote seems especially relevant. I keep coming back to it. I need to keep it in mind.

The burning question for me is how I can turn this into the defining event I would not trade in retrospect.

(Next week, Chapter One Continues - CANCER CURED – Fear Not – Turning Point)

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Growth demands Strategic Discipline.

Next blog I continue to share Chapter One from my book Cancer Cured. My options had dwindled due to Monosomy 7, and 5 failed chemo’s which failed to decrease the cancer in my bone marrow to less than the 10% required to qualify for a bone marrow transplant. Dr. Begum’s judgment caused new questions, which stimulated new thoughts.

Building an enduring great organization requires disciplined people, disciplined thought, disciplined action, superior results, producing a distinctive impact on the world.

Discipline sustains momentum, over a long period, laying the foundations for lasting endurance.

A winning habit starts with 3 Strategic Disciplines: Priority, Metrics, and Meeting Rhythms.   Forecasting, accountability, individual, and team performance improve dramatically.

Meeting Rhythms achieve a disciplined focus on performance metrics to drive growth.

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Positioning Systems helps mid-sized ($5M - $500M+) businesses Scale-UP. We align your business to focus on Your One Thing! Contact dwick@positioningsystems.com to Scale Up your business! Take our Four Decisions Needs Assessment to discover how your business measures against other Scaled Up companies. We’ll contact you.

NEXT BLOG – CANCER CURED – Fear Not – Turning Point