Strategic Discipline Blog

My journey through Acute Myeloid Leukemia continues with another segment from Chapter VII from CANCER CURED – Miracle Moment – Crisis – (Sparks FLY)

(Previous segments of CANCER CURED are available here:  CANCER CURED BOOK -to read from the beginning, you’ll need to scroll through to the bottom to find CANCER CURED – What do You Feed?, which is the first in the series.)

There’s a reason I didn’t post what had occurred early in the morning on July 2^nd. I was overwhelmed by it, and second, I was sure no one would believe me if I had shared it.

Michelle would later share that entering the ICU was the end for me in her mind. Michelle’s birthday is July 2^nd, It was possibly the most miserable day of her life.

The evening of the 1st, I was consulted by several doctors requesting medication that could be harmful to my kidneys. Being diabetic and having a brother who died from complications of diabetes, I was reluctant to sign off on this. It may have been the only time I can recall possibly being influenced by “chemo brain.”   After several hours speaking to these doctors, they called Michelle to get her to convince me the drugs were necessary. From 10:30 to 11:30 PM, she tried to persuade me to accept the drugs. She recalled my conversation as confused. She felt I was talking in circles and never seemed alert or fully engaged. She was concerned with my lack of clarity. After this conversation with Michelle, another doctor came into my room. This conversation continued for another hour or more. About 12:30 AM, he left.  

My fear of taking the drug stemmed from watching my brother Gary fade away in the hospital for several months as his kidneys failed him.

I was wired from all the activity and probably the pressure to make a decision. I couldn't decide, so the doctors deferred the decision to Michelle. I’m sure it was a long night for her.

Unable to fall asleep, I lay in my hospital bed with my computer resting on my lap. I’m not sure what I was doing beyond catching up with emails.  There wasn’t much, if any, activity in my room after the “convincer” left.

Sometime shortly after he left, my computer was still on my lap.  Suddenly, my laptop felt as if it had been struck by a jolt of lightning or an electrical surge. It felt like it was SIZZLED!  I recall propping myself up and seeing my computer screen sparkle and turn to snow. It remained that way for a few seconds until two navy-colored words appeared in the middle of my screen.

The two words on my screen, “CANCER CURED”

At the time, I didn’t know what to think. I cry every time I remember it!

Alone, having meditated and remained positive despite overwhelming odds, having a message like this delivered in such impossible circumstances seemed beyond belief.

The screen reverted to normal operations quickly. I immediately opened my Outlook program to the notes application (the ones that appear like 3M sticky notes). I hurriedly typed as much as I could recall from what happened. As I typed, I was so excited most of my fingers were not on the proper keys. The most legible portion of the message was the words CANCER CURED, which I made sure I’d typed individually to document it.  

Whatever happened going forward, I wanted to remember this as much as possible. Typing it in "notes" in Outlook was the fastest and easiest way to memorialize it.

You can’t imagine how I felt. Can I be sure it even happened? Yet I recall the moment, the visual experience, as I can recall my wedding day, my children’s birth, or any significant event in my life. Whether I was dreaming this or not, I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care. I knew at that moment I was cured. I was going to be fine.

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What's God's Will?  Next week, I'll share how I see God's Will as loving and in line with what you truly desire.  My doctor revealed my biopsy results confirm the message I'd received on my computer!  

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Discipline sustains momentum over a long period, laying the foundations for lasting endurance.

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NEXT BLOG – CANCER CURED - CHAPTER VII – ICU