Strategic Discipline Blog

Stuck in a hospital room at the University of Iowa, I was often unaware of some of the miracles of support happening around me.

When Gayle Richardson discovered I had cancer, she knew she needed to do something to help Michelle and me.

It’s hard to imagine anyone more generous, loyal, understanding, and dedicated than Gayle Richardson. Gayle’s son Taylor played with my son Josh on basketball and baseball teams together. Mike, her husband, was the coach of the baseball team when Josh hit him in the eye during one game. Gayle is simply a wonderful person. When she found out I had cancer, she got together the women she knew from our group of families who’d been with us during those games and asked what they could do. Gayle knew how financially draining having cancer can be. She contacted Lisa McGovern first to discuss the idea because she knew Lisa and Michelle had been good friends. The initial group of women included Lisa, Laurie Sloterdyk, Trish Talley, Janet Burbridge, mothers from the sports teams, and two of our neighbors, Colleen Lowe and Kathleen Newhouse. She formed a group called Warriors for Doug. It’s humbling to discover a group of people who have rallied around you to help you when you are in need. That’s the kind of thing Gayle does naturally. It must be in her DNA. She was vigilant in her efforts to help.

The group created T-shirts and began to work on creating a benefit event for me to raise funds for my transplant, even before we knew if I would get that far.

There was some drama around this event, as you discovered in the story about Wade and his finding Doug Wagemester less than two weeks before the event. Yet most of it was carefully prepared, albeit with many impromptu solicitations and surprises.

Gayle organized two auctions, one silent conducted by her aunt and uncle. Her father had been an auctioneer. Someone in the group came up with the idea to stage a basketball game and contacted Chris Robertson, the coach at Linn Mar. Josh was a junior on the team, and Chris made the arrangements to contact Linn Mar alumni to participate. Linn Mar had made multiple appearances in the Iowa State Tournament final 8 and had several outstanding players, including Jim and Scott Bohannan. Several of the alumni members were still college players, and Chris had to get special permission to allow them to participate. Another draw for the game was Linn Mar’s Marcus Page, who was heavily recruited and eventually chose North Carolina to play his college ball.

All that work came together to provide special entertainment for those who attended. Yet, just two weeks before the event was scheduled, someone contacted Linn Mar only to discover someone in the administration saying, “Who said you could do this?”

Fortunately, Wade found Doug Wagemester.

The Warriors for Doug benefit on August 9, 2012 raised over $11,000 for my bone marrow transplant. Gayle kept a spreadsheet to document everyone who contributed.

Looking through it and being unable to recognize so many names, people I didn’t know who contributed $6 for a wristband to $690 for an auction item humbles me. You realize the tremendous amount of compassion, love, and empathy people have for others.

When you’re struggling with cancer, you’re simply unaware of what everyone is doing for you. One of my best friends from high school and college, Steve Swed, immediately sent me a check for $1000 when he heard I had cancer. It’s hard to believe how generous he was to me. It may sound prejudiced to say this, but in high school, Steve was known as a penny pincher, perhaps due to his father and mother being Jewish. Steve is frugal and a wise and prodigious investor. Steve provided another gift, which proved just as valuable, connecting me with another classmate, Sue Kallas, who had cancer immediately after graduating from college. Sue proved invaluable, calling me many times to encourage me while I was in the hospital. It’s difficult to appreciate the value of speaking to someone who has been where you have been, fought the battles you have, mentally and physically with cancer, and estimate how they elevate your belief you can conquer it.

Sue Kallas’ calls, encouragement, prayers, and insights significantly impacted me. She elevated my confidence to believe I could conquer this.

Another friend sent me several books on humor and laughter geared toward healing. Brian Callaghan is a friend I knew when his wife and I worked in radio in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. His Irish heritage gives him an infectious laugh guaranteed to make even the most reluctant and shy person break out in a smile. He’s thoughtful, creative, and always genuine. Brian and I remained friends after we both left Fond du Lac. Another former customer, Rock LaManna, sent me thoughtful cards, medallions, and healing prayers. 

These gifts make me cry when I think of them. It’s overwhelming to be loved and supported when you feel helpless and unable to reciprocate. Anyone who ever feels the world and people don’t care should witness the love and outpouring of support I received.

An application called the Caring Bridge was one way we kept friends and family aware of my condition. Most of the time, Michelle created a short message to update everyone. In several instances, Michelle asked me to write the message, and she posted it.   Just before the event on August 8^th, I shared this message:

Waiting

Wanted to give everyone a quick update on my condition. I’m home. You cannot believe how thankful and appreciative I am for that! A week ago, the second biopsy confirmed what the first biopsy had indicated: my cancer was in remission. That was miraculous news again! I don’t know that I’ve ever been so happy and emotionally overcome.

The obstacle now is still my lung infection (pneumonia). Monday, I saw a specialist who removed about 700 ml of fluid from outside my right lung. This helped me to breathe deeper immediately. The results from that fluid proved there was nothing that needed attention.

That’s left me in limbo. I can’t move forward with the bone marrow transplant until the infection is completely cured, however, the pulmonary doctor feels I’m making good progress, and there’s not much they can or plan to do to speed up the healing process right now.

I don’t even have another doctor’s appointment set up. I can’t remember when that happened since I started this in February.

The good news is I’m home, and possibly the infection will allow me to relish this time until I must go back to the hospital.

I’ve been able to get out a bit more (walking without a mask, golfing with Josh); however, while my blood counts are up, there is still danger in large gatherings for my immune system, so I will not attend the event on Thursday.

Thanks to all of you for contributing so much to this event. I plan to thank you in person at some point in the future. I appreciate your support, prayers, and encouragement.

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Although I was home at the time of the benefit, the doctors recommended that I not attend the benefit in person. I had pneumonia, and my immune system was still severely compromised and would be until after I received a transplant.  Next week, I will share the message I shared with those who attended A Bone Marrow Transplant Benefit..

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NEXT BLOG – CANCER CURED - CHAPTER VI – A Benefit for a Bone Marrow Transplant