Strategic Discipline Blog

My journey through Acute Myeloid Leukemia continues with Chapter VI from CANCER CURED – Support

(Previous segments of CANCER CURED are available here:  CANCER CURED BOOK -to read from the beginning you’ll need to scroll through to the bottom to find CANCER CURED – What do You Feed?, which is the first in the series.)

This is Chapter VI 6^th and fourth segment from this chapter, Friends I Didn’t Know I Had!

The third reason is the overwhelming support I received from my friends, customers, and people I had never even met.

Two weeks before my scheduled benefit to raise funds for my bone marrow transplant, Gayle Richardson, who put it together, discovered that the Linn Mar basketball gym could not be used to host an event for a private individual. Gayle was in a panic as to what to do. Where could they find a gym in just two weeks to host the event? She knew one person she felt she could count on: Wade Hiner. Wade had been the supervisor for Skogman Realty for their new home. I had met Wade a little over a year earlier in his office where he worked for Hunter Companies. One of my customers, Roger Vorhies, suggested I call on Hunter. When I spoke to the owner Hunter, he referred me to Wade to set up a meeting. We had met one time for coffee subsequently. He asked if I’d like to join Breakfast of Champions, a Cedar Rapids business networking club. I joined the group in the fall, so I’d seen Wade several times at the monthly meetings. Still, I didn’t know him well and was surprised at how open, friendly, and receptive he always was.

Wade immediately contacted his coach he’d played for at Mount Mercy College, Paul Gavin. Paul also served as Mercy’s Athletic Director. While he indicated he would love to do it, he felt the red tape they’d have to go through with the administration would be too much, likely, preventing them from making the date scheduled so he recommended Wade consider contacting Kirkwood.

Doug Wagemester was the head men's basketball coach and Athletics Director at Kirkwood. He was friendly and open when Wade called him out of the blue.

“What can I help you with?” he responded when Wade told him he needed help.

Wade indicated Paul at Mercy had given him his name and explained, as he called it, the “deep do-do” he was in without a gym at the last minute. When Wade shared what it was for, and who would be participating, Doug didn’t hesitate, “Let’s do it!”

Wade didn’t know Doug, and, Doug certainly didn’t know me. Doug even provided the students to map it (run the clock and scorekeeping)

Wade finally met Doug in person on the evening of the event. Wade approached, thanked him, and said, “I can’t believe you did all this for us?”

Doug’s response said everything you need to know about him, “Why wouldn’t I?”

Wade thought it was the coolest thing he’d ever heard and seen.

Despite being isolated in my hospital room, it often felt like invisible forces were working for me. Call them angels if you would, yet these were real people who decided, often without even knowing me or my family would come to my aid, encouraging me with small actions, and acts of kindness. Another person who helped who I didn’t know at the time of my cancer was John Ward, through his acquaintance with Wade Hiner. Wade, as you’ve already discovered, was instrumental in helping me stage the benefit event my supporters created to help pay for my Bone Marrow Transplant.  For some reason, insurance will not pay for the actual transplant, the cost of a bone marrow transplant is expensive.

Wade Hiner, is one of those “angels”. As shared earlier, I’d meet Wade due to a recommendation from Roger Vorhies, SVC Contracting in Fairfield, Iowa. Roger had attended one of my public workshops. We’d stayed in touch and he’d convinced me to volunteer for a program called Sports World. With my friend Dan McGovern, we’d spearheaded a drive to get schools to bring in former NFL players to speak on how to make good choices. Sports World’s message is Christian-based, sharing, “You're not born a winner; you're not born a loser; you're born a chooser!®  Dan and I had gotten the program restarted in Cedar Rapids, getting several schools to allow Sports World's athletes to speak, however, we’d failed miserably at collecting the donations to fund the event. Roger and his company, SVC, had made up the difference.

When I discovered I had cancer, Wade was one of the first people I called to ask if he would be willing to accept my obligation to Sports World. It turned out to be a great decision for Sports World. Wade convinced another person I barely knew  Paul Phelan, to join him in this volunteer program. Paul developed an idea to help turn this program around. By securing business partners first, not starting with the school’s commitment, he was able to use the funds they would contribute to sponsor schools and get NFL athletes to make presentations at the sponsoring businesses as well. It was a hit in both directions.

When Michelle expressed concern about how our back patio cement was cracking and breaking up, I called Wade and asked if he knew a contractor or someone who could help with this. Wade in turn called his friend, John Ward, whom he had worked with at Skogman. (John Ward, was another "friend" I didn't know until then!)

One warm Saturday, when I was home for a day or two that spring, Wade, John, and two other friends of John’s came over to examine the patio and determine what to do. After making some decisions to remove the cracked sections and pour new concrete, John commented to me and Wade which was both prescient and haunting. John said the person he was worried about was Michelle. John offered, "With all this going on, she’s stuck at home, all the pressure is on her, and Doug’s getting all the attention. I worry about her, and how she’s doing." 

Looking back, I’m not sure Michelle ever got over that time when no matter what she did the attention was not on her. The attention was always on me. In the meantime, she struggled to take care of Josh and Noah, drive to Iowa City almost every day, and manage the household without me.

It may have left her bitter, and most certainly left her afraid she would lose me and the security she had. Through my time in the hospital, the revenue the business generated slipped by 60%. This wasn’t so much losing customers as it was the activities I had done to bring in additional revenue. Workshops, sales training, and projects. These were revenue-generating events I would do in person or required me to make person-to-person contacts. I did lose two customers who had been on the fringe in their commitment.

It had to be frightening for Michelle to wonder what might happen if I died, and how she might take care of our children. I did have a $700,000 life insurance policy. Michelle was never a believer in life insurance. I had to fight to get the policy in place, and only with great reluctance did she accept a $50,000 policy on her as well. She was worried it would be a reason for me to have her removed. I never understood her thinking or feeling on this, whether she had watched too many TV dramas or whether this was a deep-seated fear.

I’m not sure whether the life insurance policy gave her much security. She was afraid of being alone more than of being without money it seemed.

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Growth demands Strategic Discipline.

My mother broke her hip preparing for my oldest brother Jim’s funeral in Princeton in 2009. My brother Gary had died 3 years before that.  Imagine how my mom must’ve felt visiting me 2 years later in the hospital.  Next blog I’ll share my mom's visit. 

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NEXT BLOG – CHAPTER VI – Mom visits