Strategic Discipline Blog

My journey through Acute Myeloid Leukemia continues with Chapter VI from CANCER CURED – Support.  This segment is A Bone Marrow Transplant Benefit.

(Previous segments of CANCER CURED are available here:  CANCER CURED BOOK - to read from the beginning, you’ll need to scroll through to the bottom to find CANCER CURED – What Do You Feed?, which is the first in the series.)

A Benefit for a Bone Marrow Transplant

Because of my diminished immune condition, the doctors advised me not to attend the benefit event. Instead, I created a 6-minute audio to be played that evening. Someone was able to set it up so there was a video camera at the event so I could watch the game. The following is the message I prepared for the benefit, delivered before the basketball game started:

My Message to Warriors for Doug Benefit

"This is a challenging message for me. I feel humbled, overwhelmed, and undeserving of the attention and generosity that so many of you are providing to my family and me.

Many of you don’t even know me. Others know me only as someone who would scream at officials during my son’s and Linn Mar's basketball games. Many hardly know me, but your kindness has overwhelmed me.

A quick background on my situation:

On February 25^th, my doctor, whom I’d visited earlier in the day, called me to tell me to get to the hospital right away. He said that I was anemic. I had no idea what that meant but soon discovered that a normal person has somewhere between 13-16 level of hemoglobin, and I was at just 5.6. After several transfusions and tests, a doctor arrived on Saturday to inform me that I had Acute Myeloid Leukemia. His message was somber. He indicated I would be in the hospital for the better part of a year and that I would not be able to work for that period. He also indicated this was a very serious illness that lowered your immune system and made you susceptible to bacteria and infections, which could kill you just as quickly and easily as the cancer.

I was devastated. My first inclination was to give up. It was one thing to try to handle myself, another to see my family crippled by the economic issues that would arise with my being out of work for a year or more and a lack of understanding of what my insurance would provide for me. I told the doctor, "Why don’t you just shoot me now?"  I cried for a long time. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me.

It took my son Joshua to right my ship and get my mind to the proper perspective. He said to me, “Dad, if you give up, you’ll be doing exactly the opposite of what you’ve always taught us to do! “

It was enough for me to realize I needed a plan to move forward. On Monday, when we arrived at the University of Iowa Hospital, we received more bad news. There are three levels of Leukemia: patients who have a very good chance of survival, those with a moderate chance, and those who have a small chance. We discovered that I was in this final category, although I must confess at the time, I paid little attention to this due to my new attitude.

Since then, I’ve been through 7 chemotherapy treatments, the last clinical trial which, if you know anything about cancer, is strictly experimental.

I took significant steps to ensure that I would handle this challenge as positively as possible. I refused to wear hospital gowns, instead choosing to dress each day in the normal fashion that I would do for work. When my physician assistant allowed me to use the green light to continue to work with my clients, we created signs to put on my hospital door to prevent interruptions. Prioritizing my top six to-dos for the next day continued to be a regular part of my daily routine. Finally, I added perhaps the most important element, one hour plus of meditation to separate my mind from my physical being, move closer to God, and ultimately discover restorative powers that would help overcome this illness.

One of my favorite sayings is the universe rewards action. I believe that without these actions, I would not be where I am today, a position that places my AML in remission. The reduction of my cancer to the degree it achieved with my last two biopsies is as much, I believe, a testament to the treatment I received as to the attitude, mental preparation, meditation, prayers, thoughts, and encouragement that both I demonstrated and you have overwhelmingly provided to me. Thank you!

Throughout my illness, I’ve referred to something I learned from Jim Collins’ book, Good to Great, as the Stockdale Paradox. It states, “Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, AND at the same time, confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

I wish there were a way I could promise you that I will repay your generosity. I sincerely doubt that I will have neither the time nor the ability to do so. I hope that you believe like I do that what goes around comes around. If you believe that, then you know that the gifts you have so generously provided to my family and me are already on their return journey to you.

Please, please, please accept and understand how thankful I am for everything you have done and perhaps will continue to do for my family and me. I am eternally grateful.

There is a final message to the Stockdale Paradox, “I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

This is my promise to you. I believe this challenge is a defining moment in my life. Because of it, I will be a much better husband, father and live in a superior consciousness that I have previously. As my health improves, I will give back as much as I can and look for opportunities to provide an even higher level of generosity than you have overwhelmed me and my family.

Thank you all for coming tonight."

While watching the game and the number of people attending, I was overcome with emotion, crying several times. It is overwhelming to be humbled by people, many of whom didn’t even know me, simply rallying around a cause or friends to support someone else. When the game finished, I turned the video stream off, got on my knees, and thanked God for His blessings!

It wasn’t until nearly five years later, I discovered how much the benefit had raised. Michelle withheld the amount from me, even though I asked her several times. Each time I asked, she simply responded, “Don’t worry about how much we raised, just know it was all taken care of. You don’t need to know that!”

I never understood or discovered why she responded like this or what her motive was to keep it secret. In the end, I discovered just how generous and unselfish others were for my cause. I’m eternally grateful. It allowed me to live and to write this book.

Call to Action

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Growth demands Strategic Discipline.

You’ve seen the power of relationships in my journey through cancer. My successful journey would not have been possible without a relationship with a Universal Power I call God. Next week, I will share my most important relationship in Faith – Your Partner. 

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Discipline sustains momentum over a long period, laying the foundations for lasting endurance.

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NEXT BLOG – CANCER CURED - CHAPTER VI - Faith – Your Partner