Strategic Discipline Blog

My journey through Acute Myeloid Leukemia continues with Chapter VI from CANCER CURED – Support

(Previous segments of CANCER CURED are available here:  CANCER CURED BOOK -to read from the beginning you’ll need to scroll through to the bottom to find CANCER CURED – What do You Feed?, which is the first in the series.)

This is Chapter VI 6^th and third segment from this chapter, Michelle!

The second reason I was able to survive nearly 7 months in the hospital was Michelle. There was a distance building in our relationship, due to the issues we had before I went in, as well as possibly the fear she lived with every day that I would die.  She’d always been a person who moved away from fear, and this was perhaps the worst challenge she could ever face.  

Michelle hated driving, yet she visited me almost every day when I was in the hospital. Best of all she brought me lunch every day she visited.

One of the hospital nurses, April Cline Jones, allowed me to interview her several years after my recovery. April was one of the most caring and concerned nurses I had, often spending time in my room sharing her faith, compassion, her life journey, and being open and honest about my condition.  

Interviewing her, years later after Michelle and I divorced, I asked her whether she could see Michelle and I were moving apart. She didn’t feel she could comment specifically on that.  She sensed there was a chasm between us.  She mentioned how she enjoyed caring for me.  She could see a difference in my behavior she associated with those patients who frequently were able to make it through their cancer.  “You had expectations for the future. You weren’t living as if you were going to die. You were living as if you expected to live!”

In contrast, she felt Michelle didn’t understand me. She was unable to see how and why I was behaving the way I did.  April felt Michelle was living without the hope I would survive and uncertain of what her future would be. 

Perhaps her observation had significance for why our marriage eventually failed.
In the book, I share a story about Michelle, our courtship, and her relationship with my oldest son, Dan, from my first marriage.  Due to its sensitivity, I am not sharing it here in this blog. 

Instead, I want to emphasize the importance of Michelle’s care, being there through every obstacle, challenge, and medical surprise. Her commitment and dedication made my hospital stay as tolerable as possible.  6 days a week she would bring me a sandwich or something she’d make for me for lunch.  She delivered new clothes each week.  (Something she wouldn’t have had to do had I not insisted on not wearing  hospital grab, instead wearing the casual business clothes I’d worn for work from my home office.)  She made sure when I came home for the day or two when the doctors allowed me to, our home was sterile to prevent me from getting any infections, viruses, or germs. She was vigilant about what I was doing, and where I was going, and tyrannical about what I should or shouldn’t do to avoid incurring any possible harm to myself while I was home or traveling out of the hospital.

She managed to take over the activities I had done, driving the boys (Noah and Josh) to school for orchestra practice, cross country, basketball, or track, along with their extracurricular activities.  

I’ve shared how I’m more of an introvert, and enjoy being alone, particularly to help recharge my energy.

At the same time, I must fervently acknowledge that without Michelle’s dedication, determination, resilience, persistence, and fortitude I would not have endured and made it to the success I achieved.  It’s not possible to know what she went through, alone, with her fears, her increased responsibility, the stress, and the uncertainty she had to endure.  

You have no idea how gratifying and important getting a homemade meal is when you are in the hospital.  Anyone possibly can endure a day, a week, or two in the hospital, but nearly 7 months of having to choose from the limited menu and quickly running out of options was very discouraging.  Her daily lunch was often the highlight of my day!  It reminded me of home, it made me feel human, loved, and appreciated.  It greatly improved my mental and emotional state.  

I’m sorry if I failed to appreciate her sacrifices, dedication, and the obstacles she had to overcome.  Later you’ll read one of the construction volunteers who helped us at our home noted in observing Michelle, that the caregiver is often neglected, and possibly needs as much if not more attention than the person cared for.  

She was required to give, give, give, without a guaranteed outcome.  It was overwhelming self-sacrifice. I’m sure it took a tremendous toll on her. 

Caregivers are unappreciated, frequently ignored, and might suffer more than the victims they care for.  They work tirelessly, never feeling they are doing enough, possibly second-guessing their efforts, and often being overly responsible for the plight of the person they care for. Perhaps that is the greatest injustice since, despite all their efforts, their contributions rarely get noticed.  

I’m grateful for how Michelle took responsibility for my care.  She provided hope, faith, and belief that would not have germinated without her support. 

Call to Action

Challenge your team, your business, yourself. Contact Positioning Systems to schedule a free exploratory meeting to challenge, inspire, and ignite purpose and passion in your business!  

Create an environment where everyone is inspired to give their best.

Growth demands Strategic Discipline.

There’s no way to mention every person who helped me while I was hospitalized, yet one person, whom I hardly knew at the time, typifies the efforts friends and strangers contributed. Next blog I’ll share more on the support from friends I didn’t know I had. 

Building an enduring great organization requires disciplined people, disciplined thought, disciplined action, superior results, producing a distinctive impact on the world.

Discipline sustains momentum, over a long period, laying the foundations for lasting endurance.

A winning habit starts with 3 Strategic Disciplines: Priority, Metrics, and Meeting Rhythms.   Forecasting, accountability, individual, and team performance improve dramatically.

Meeting Rhythms achieve a disciplined focus on performance metrics to drive growth.

Let Positioning Systems help your business achieve these outcomes on the Four most Important Decisions your business faces:

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NEXT BLOG – CHAPTER VI – Support III - Friends I Didn’t Know I Had