Communicate What You Believe and Value - What to Ask the Person in the Mirror

I was angry!

My mood, my words, my loud voice, I was raging!

Everyone on the 2^nd floor of our radio station cleared out, except one person!

He came into my office, closed the door, and said quietly and calmly, “Doug, calm down! Do you know how everyone else responds when you get upset?”

The truth was I didn’t! Not at that moment.

I was so unaware it took me a few minutes to become self-aware and calm down. My sales manager and good friend Mike O’Brien’s advice resonated in my ear, my heart, and my soul. I apologized to everyone who had taken in my temper tantrum.

I don’t recall what I was upset about.  I do remember Mike’s calm, direct, admonishment and my embarrassment.

As Radio Station General Manager I realized how impactful one person can be to the culture and energy of a business.

My anger management practice continues, especially in situations tied to deep emotions of love in relationships.

Anger is perhaps the worst emotion you can project in your business. Read Anger, the Boy and the Fence 

Have you acted angry at times?

Owning a business feels like your baby, the most important thing in your world!  You can lose emotional control when you feel so invested.

Role Model Questions

As the leader of your organization, are you:

• Do you act as a role model?
• Do your behaviors match your words?
• How do you conduct yourself under pressure?
• Is your conduct consistent with your stated values?

In recent blogs about Harvard Professor Robert Steven Kaplan’s What to Ask the Person in the Mirror: Critical Questions for Becoming a More Effective Leader and Reaching Your Potential, we’ve shared the leaders' role as visionary, coach/mentor, organizational architect, and change agent.

The most critical role you must play is a model for others, an example for others to follow.

Recognize that your words don’t speak as loudly or forcefully as the example YOU set by exhibiting (or not exhibiting) requested behaviors.

Knowingly or unknowingly, every leader plays this role.

Are YOU aware YOU serve this purpose in an organization?

Do you feel you can play by a different set of rules?

Do you believe it’s reasonable to ask employees to “do as I say, not as I do?”

If so, you fail to match your actions to your top priorities (see Vision & Priorities - What to Ask the Person in the Mirror).

YOU, the leader, are the most powerful role model for your organization.

When you see your people behaving in ways you don’t approve, instead of blaming them ask yourself, “In what way might my behavior influence someone to act this way?”

Behavior Never Lies

Your behavior speaks louder than any clever slogan or well-polished speech.

How Do Others See You?

Questions for self-reflection:

• Do you have your own parking spot in the employee parking lot?
• Do you fly first class even when the rest of your team is back in coach?
• Do you ask to be reimbursed for first class on relatively short trips, even though company policy states that you are supposed to fly coach class on trips of less than four hours?
• Do you live by a set of rules different from those that you ask your people to live by?
• If so, why? What gives you the idea that you need and deserve “special handling?”

The Process of Self-Discovery

Leadership is about self-discovery and understanding. You need to understand you. As your roles evolve from producer to manager of a small team, to manager of a larger team, to having hundreds or thousands of employees, the pressures and the role model requirements you are expected to take on become dramatically more important.

Learning to Lead Others

Your job as CEO is more than performing tasks. Who you hire reflects your values. If you hire people who are producers who fail to exhibit the values, purpose, and mission of your organization you send a clear signal about what’s important.

The role-model analysis is not just about your behavior. It also relates to the behavior of those you promote. Just as you are a powerful role model, the people you promote to key jobs send enormously powerful signals to the organization about what you truly believe. (See questions in graphic)

How Do You Behave Under Pressure?

Go back to my opening story, and ask yourself this important question: What Creates “Pressure” for You?

If you wish to learn more about leadership and particularly self-awareness, check out these blogs on the Leadership Circle:

• Solving the Leadership Puzzle – Leadership Circle Profile (360) – San Antonio ScaleUp Summit
• Can Leadership Be Scaled?
• Leadership Is an Inner Journey
• Are Your Leadership Liabilities Canceling Your Strengths?

Consider taking their Leadership Circle’s assessment. Your leadership journey should be about striving for greater Self-Awareness as You Become a Leader.

Becoming a Role Model

Robert Steven Kaplan shares his views on how critical being a role model is as a leader:

To create an environment where everyone is inspired to give their best, contact Positioning Systems to schedule a free exploratory meeting.

Let’s help you to turn your business into a growth organization!  

Growth demands Strategic Discipline.

A great leader constantly learns and adapts. In the next blog, we continue exploring What to Ask the Person in the Mirror and why leaders consistently need to learn about themselves.

Building an enduring great organization requires disciplined people, disciplined thought, disciplined action, superior results, producing a distinctive impact on the world.

Discipline sustains momentum, over a long period of time, laying the foundations for lasting endurance.

A winning habit starts with 3 Strategic Disciplines: Priority, Metrics, and Meeting Rhythms.   Forecasting, accountability, individual, and team performance improve dramatically.

Meeting Rhythms achieve a disciplined focus on performance metrics to drive growth.

Let Positioning Systems help your business achieve these outcomes on the Four most Important Decisions your business faces:

Positioning Systems helps mid-sized ($5M - $500M+) businesses Scale-UP. We align your business to focus on Your One Thing! Contact dwick@positioningsystems.com to Scale Up your business! Take our Four Decisions Needs Assessment to discover how your business measures against other Scaled Up companies. We’ll contact you.

NEXT BLOG – Be True to Yourself – Reach Your Potential – What to Ask the Person in the Mirror