My blog last Monday, Disappointment and Inspiration, shared the story of how one of my classmates told she was going to die from lymphoma is alive today 37 years later.
Perhaps you’ve faced adversity and challenges in your life and found a way to overcome them. If you have you’ve found an inner spring of confidence that allows you to face challenges with more assurance, certainty, and determination than someone else.
Several of you have commented on my determination, resolution, and tenacity through my diagnosis and treatment of Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML). I don’t have a previous battle with cancer like my friend Sue Kallas to provide that inner knowing that I can and will defeat this.
Rather I have a personal story almost twenty years ago that fuels my belief that I will live beyond this temporary inconvenience. I thought I would share that story and the formula I followed then along with a new formula I’ve discovered that closely mirrors what I followed previously.
Here’s where my confidence comes from.
A year after several partners and I started a 50,000 watt radio station in Wausau, WI, I meet the most stunning, soft spoken, selfless, principled, and beautiful woman I could have imagined.
The story of how we met is one in itself. My first opportunity to date Michelle didn’t do much to impress here. It took several months before she allowed me another opportunity and even then she kept me at arm’s length. As I persisted eventually Michelle allowed me to get closer. In December on Christmas Eve, I proposed and she accepted.
Shortly after that Michelle got cold feet. One reason; she’d promised herself she would never marry a man who had been married before and had a child. Unfortunately there was no getting around the fact that Doug Wick had that baggage. I had a son from a 1986 divorce who was 11 years old.
I understood Michelle’s feelings as we had previously discussed it. That didn’t make it any easier to swallow. I was devastated. I don’t recall ever feeling so hurt and depressed in my life. I had tremendous difficulty sleeping, eating and concentrating at work. Many days I would simply leave the office to drive the highway listening to music, or simply go home, lie down in a vain attempt to eliminate my depression.
After weeks of crying, not sleeping and beating myself up I turned to a deeper involvement in my faith and meditation to overcome my grief.
Beyond church and the bible, I discovered a formula in an audio sermon I had from a Unity minister, James Rosemurgy. It title: “How To Cross Your Red Sea.” Rosemugy’s audio offered Five steps to follow in order to achieve the success Moses and the Israelites did in being released from their Egyptian bondage. The steps are simple:
- “Fear Not!” Peace, be Still!
- “Stand Firm” Don’t do anything. Can’t face a problem on the level of the problem. See the salvation of the Lord – what God will do. Raise your level of Consciousness. The Lord will fight for you have only to…….
- "Be still and know that I AM God” Define your purpose – it is to know God – not get what you want.
- “Go Forward” Under the direction of Spirit. Allow for guidance from within. Let God be God, Trust!
- “Don’t Predict your Solution”
As I practiced this formula I listened to lots of music, read the bible and began to meditate. Constantly. Some days 2- 3 times a day.
Slowly my emotions and life got back to normal. Looking back, the 45-60 day period after I had been in such turmoil that I spent in quiet meditation, prayer, and thoughtfulness is probably the most restful, calming, restorative time of my life. Possibly one of the happiest as well.
Whenever I would feel overwhelmed by fear or grief I recall affirming, “this or something better, let the divine results appear.” It calmed me. Yet I wasn’t tied to an outcome. Staying true to the formula I chose not to predict my solution.
How did it turn out? Somewhere in that peaceful period of time one evening the phone rang. It was Michelle She asked how I was doing. My heart was beating wildly when I realized it was her. I found the courage to ask her out, and she accepted. Iozzo’s an Italian Restaurant in Wausau, WI would be are re-engagement date. At the end of the meal I got done on my knee and asked her again, Will you marry me?
Why wait? I knew what I wanted and I was convinced that her calling me was sign from God and the universe that it was right.
While I’m sure Michelle can look back at many times she’s been disappointed in me I can tell you never once have I regretted that decision. It’s been the absolute best of my life!
Ironic in all this is that Michelle has no recall of any of it. She doesn’t recall calling me to this day. Why would she have done that she asks? She would have had to have a reason to call someone. And she not one to make calls to guys for no reason!
Yet here I am, and here we are with two boys (13 & 17) to prove it worked! Do I consider that challenge more than my current bout with AML? I do. The effort that it required to overcome the feeling of rejection was huge, not unlike the challenge currently of overcoming the physical aspect within my body.
However in reality both the emotional and physical overcome are not something I have control of. It’s important to recognize the value of this step in the formula “the Lord will fight for you, you have only to be still and know that I am God.”.
I’m following a similar formula now. One taken from Joe Dispensa’s book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New On. It explains why “How to Cross your Red Sea works combining Quantum Physics using elevated emotions versus survival emotions. It is remarkably close to the pattern that Jim Rosemurgy outlined.
What’s all this got to do with my business Doug?
While I’ve written frequently about developing routines and habits, the truth is that these same routines can bind and inhibit us. Too frequently we are all about doing and little about being.
The value of Strategic Discipline (Priorities, Meetings, & Metrics) is putting into practice fundamental tools that best practices and thought leaders have proven successful. If the current habits and routines your team is following fail to meet these patterns, then you will have automatically broken the pattern of memories and habits that are actually keeping you in a downward or mediocre trend.
Simply by adopting a new pattern of meeting rhythms, revolving around an agreed upon set of priorities and metrics to measure your progress you will have set the stage for growth and ultimate success.
Is it time you considered Strategic Discipline as a formula for growth for your business?